Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Day 5... last full day!

Day 5... we are all doing well and feeling much better but Blake and I are ready to sleep in our own bed... Blake headed back to work on this day and I was left alone with the baby (had to be a secret bc the hospital was not to keen on my being alone) but it was a great day of rest and bonding time.   My parents and Pierce did come and visit which was a great (bc my mom always brought me something good to eat) and we even had a visitor.... sweet Meredith came to visit.  Here are some pics of our day...
Pierce getting to spend more time with Asher... what a good big brother... he has always been very gentle with Asher and loves to kiss all over him.

This is a great picture of what Pierce did when he was in the hospital... playing with the ipad and asking me if he can buy something... like a movie/a new app/a magazine...

We had a good feeling this was going to be our last night at the hospital and I wanted to spend some time with Pierce to let him know how much I missed him and I could not wait to be home with him (tomorrow)... so we headed to the lobby of our floor and had some alone time with each other... Grandad came and snuck in a picture which I am so happy that he did... I sure hope this boy knows how much I love him and nothing will ever change that... one of my prayers every night is that Pierce sees just how special he is to us and now that he is a big brother we just love him that much more.  I never knew that one heart could love more than one child as much as I do... I do miss some of Pierce and I's quiet moments just the two of us and especially the way he would crawl in bed with me in the morning and cuddle but there are many times when I have Asher in my arms and Pierce crawls right up on my lap and looks at me and says "you got all your boys now" and I would not change anything.  So blessed to be a mom of 2 boys... still seems so surreal.

Look at this angel... this picture reminds me of a story that I have yet to share... so it is fitting to share now... on day 3 in the hospital Blake went home with ViVi and GD to help put Pierce to bed and spend some time with Pierce and I was left all alone for the first time in weeks.  Previously that day the lactation consultant was worried about Asher and his feeding (and said that he seemed weak) so they took him back to the nursery to monitor him (but since we had done this before where my milk was slow to come in and we had a hungry sleepy baby... we were not that concerned and just thought he was not weak but just sleepy).  So they took Asher back to the nursery and I was alone in my room when I got a call to come and feed Asher in the "nursing room".  I was confused bc they had just called an hour before and told me that he was eating well out of a bottle and were not concerned anymore but were going to keep him in the nursery to continue to monitor.  Confused or not I was not going to pass up this opportunity to spend time with him so I headed to the nursing room to hold him. I had not been to the nursing room yet and had no idea what to expect.  I walked in and oh man I wish I had a picture there were about 8 rows of couches (like the one above) and they were filled with Korean woman breast feeding their babies.  We new moms could be identified based on our clothing how long we had been in the hospital.  The wonderful pink dress you see in these pics means we had been there less than a week and once you stay longer than a week (most women stay a month) you are promoted to purple scrubs.  So i could look around and tell every ones status by their clothing and by their style of breast feeding (some looked really comfortable and some looked they were about to cry. I was pointed to an open seat in the back row in the corner and I went and sat down.  One minute later a sweet Korean Nurse brought me my baby.  There was a boppy beside me (like everyone else) and they were playing sweet baby lullabies (in Korean).  There were about 40+ of us in this room for the scheduled feeding.  These women were in here bc they had opted not to have the baby in the room with them and just to come to the scheduled feeding and visiting times while they were in the hospital.  Since Asher was in the nursery (bc of "concerns") I guess they called me just for procedure purposes.  I held Asher in my arms for a couple of minutes and just starred at him as he was all "swaddled up" and sleeping.  He did not want to eat and I was still not sure what I was suppose to do.  I watched all these moms that look so different from me, talk different from me and felt so alone.  I started to weep (again) and I looked out the window trying to pull it together... but it hit me that I was in Korea and that I had a baby so far from home.  I had my hubby, my son and my parents and a new baby but I truly felt like a foreigner in a foreign land and I had no idea what I was doing there.  God has really been my strength through all of this and had taken away so many fears, frustrations, concerns, anxieties and worries.  I really can look back over my pregnancy and see God in action and just how much he cares for us.  He truly went a head of us and made this path perfect... but at this moment He too wanted me to experience this feeling of loneliness.  I could not help but to think about when Jesus was about to be captured by the soldiers when he was surrounded by some friends (disciples) and they were sleeping and he cried out to God... I am sure He felt alone.  Blessings from God that are little reminders that we are His first and that without Him we are alone and have nothing.  I then remember thinking "is this hormones" and I got to pull it together or all these Korean women will think "that crazy American".  So I held my baby tight and held him like that for an hour... and when I got there the room was full and by the time I left I was one of the last ones.  I did not want to let him go that night but knew it was best for all of us... I was thankful for that moment... a reminder that this world is not my home and everything good and perfect is a gift from above (James 1:17).

Here are some pics that ViVi and GD captured.. some good ones.

1 comment:

esther said...

Congratulations on your wonderful little boy and staying strong in very trying circumstances. I wrote to you before when I was still in Singapore. We are now in Ulsan and settling in well. We are living in Skyrex and my kids go to the Busan school. I was going to contact you earlier but you have been a bit busy!

I believe you have met a good friend of mine, Birgit, who lives in your building. And I saw from your earlier post that you have met Margaret, she pops up everywhere!

I am sure I will bump into you at some point in the near future.

Congratulations again,



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